Sarah Litwak: A Teacher’s Reflection on the Temple Israel Shooting
Almost every job I have ever worked has been in childcare in the Jewish community. Needless to say, the attack at Temple Israel in Michigan on Thursday, March 12 hit me incredibly hard. From my first summer as a counselor at a Jewish day camp nearly 10 years ago, I have been asked to prepare for the possibility of becoming a target of violence and hatred. I have gone through active shooter training more times than I can count, and yet I still feel woefully unprepared. I can’t imagine going through something so traumatic. At the same time, I can’t stop picturing it happening to me, to my students, to my community.
I wish I could say the attack in Michigan didn’t scare me. That I have become desensitized to the seemingly endless violence and antisemitism, but that would be a lie. The truth is that I am terrified. I am bombarded by endless questions. What if it was my school? What if it was my students? What would I do in that situation? What can I do to prepare for it now?
Whenever we hear news of a school shooting, bomb threat, antisemetic attack, or other violent happenings, my co-teacher and I identify which of our students we think will be able to run to safety, and which of our students will need to be carried. We make sure there are enough lollipops in the bathroom to keep all 40 children we need to hide in there quiet should there be a lockdown. We go over where to hide, where to run, where to meet up. As morbid as these thoughts are, they are also comforting. They make up the bare bones of a plan of action. And while I have been told time and time again that you cannot plan for something like this, it is impossible not to. We practice and we plan and we pray it is enough.
My students are four and five years old. They are loud and silly. They are learning to read and write and how to be a person in this world. We teach them that if they are kind to others, others will be kind to them. But seeing what happened in Michigan, I can’t help but wonder if that is a lie. Will any amount of kindness be able to quell the hatred that is festered against the Jewish community? Or is to be kind to be unprepared in the face of violence?
I don’t know the right answer.
